Trump vs Clinton: 5 Thoughts on the US election

Watching the US election from across the pond I have gathered a few random thoughts. In no particular order, here they are.

1. Who needs box sets anymore?
With the US election coming up I have never felt such tension in the world. The only story worth talking about at the minute is whether Trump or Clinton will be declared President on Tuesday. Lately there has been no need to watch anything else on tele. 

The itches I get to watch comedy,sport,tragedy,drama and horror have all been scratched by this election. Unless the Super Bowl gets interrupted by Kayne West in a chainsaw mask attacking people with a baked potato, this election should surely win an Emmy for best entertainment!

2. It’s a Horrible Choice

It goes without saying that this election goes beyond entertaining. There are very serious consequences to what is happening. We are all enjoying it now, but one of these muppets is going to be leader of the free world and its going to get very real. Like the time I ate a deep fried Snickers. It felt good at the time but for weeks after my skin looked like the surface of Jupiter and I didn’t know why. 
As an outsider, like the rest of the world, I can only look at America and think ‘That’s the best you have?’ ‘320million people and those are the final 2?’ I weep for your country. I weep for the west. When there needed to be a strong leader with good morals and negotiating skills who we can all look up to, America gets to choose between a trigger happy corporate sell out and someone who has about as much qualification to be a president as the the old mouthy guy who sits down at the pub all day, and he could also be trigger happy. 

It’s a choice of ‘What way do you want your country diced up?’ 

3. I Want a boring President

 The campaigns are just a verbal sparring match about who is worse. In all of this ‘you’re terrible’ from one party and ‘oh yeah? Well you are worse’ has gone on so long I can’t understand why they both don’t throw in the towel and admit they are both terrible and pick new candidates. What’s the rush? Obama will make a great caretaker president. 

To me a great president would be a guy (or girl) who was really boring. They just stuck around for 8 years and disappeared and no one remembered them but got on with their lives quietly. No wars, steady pound, steady dollar the end. Like Rutherford Hayes. Cool name but what did he do? Exactly. My kind of president.

4. What sources can you believe?

But what do I know? I’m just sitting here in Monkstown letting my sponge like brain soak up all that CNN,FOX News and BBC News have to offer. Of course they arent all telling the complete truth. There is always an agenda. 

In summary watch the tele and you will think Trump is worse but go online and you will think Clinton is worse. This all leads to creating a feeling disorientation where people don’t know what is up or down or right or left or if Russia or the illuminati are involved. A similar feeling to watching the John Wick movie in Maghera Cinema.

5. They are Hacking us…. Or maybe not 

The paranoia around the election came to a climax for me personally on Friday. My mate sent me a link to an ‘Anti-Clinton’ video on YouTube. It was from a guy at info wars. I couldn’t open it. I couldn’t open any info wars videos. I feared the worst. The illuminati had shut down free press or Russian hackers had hacked you tube. In my head chaos was going on all around. They were controlling the election. I feared WW3 was imminent, like half an hour away imminent!

I panicked, I called my mate to tell him to get out his tin hat and head straight to the bomb shelter or sparing that the Valley Leisure centre swimming pool! 

‘Calm down’ my friend said. ‘Where are you now?’ I soon realised that I was in IKEA and the mass media censorship taking place was actually only taking place in IKEA due to the parental controls of IKEA’s wifi. I was so relieved. 

Panic over… Phew. There is nothing more to worry about… Until Tuesday.
Other American thoughts that I took slightly more time on

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